Insight News

Dec 20th

A post-Thanksgiving dinner sports discussion piece

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heatSeeing as everyone should be a little too comatose from the 15th and 20th helpings of turducken (turkey, duck and chicken combo), I figure that it is best to approach this article with everyone’s capacity to stay awake in mind. Thus, we’ll do something like a Q&A, and cover a wide range of topics. We’ll do this just in case you fall asleep in the middle of a sentence, and then suddenly wake up talking about, “Yeah boy that Michael Vick is something else.” Only to be told: “Boy we were talking about college basketball. Go back to sleep. Unless you want some of Uncle J’s sweet potato pecan pie before it’s gone.”

It’s amazing a person with a full belly can go from sleep, to lopping Cool Whip on a piece of pie, within 30 seconds; only on Thanksgiving; and I’d say that’s something to be thankful for.

What do you think about the Vikings?
Ron Washington, manager of the Texas Rangers baseball team, has a saying, “That’s the way baseball go.” Well, that’s the way football go, too. So, win one for the Gipper and the possibility of a new stadium. Fortunately, it never gets old watching A.P. run all day.

What do you think about the Packers?
I think it might be their turn to do the NFC Championship thing, like the Vikings did last year. The only problem is that the Packers may have to face the Michael Vick mojo, which isn’t much better than the Creole mojo that got the Vikings last year.

What do you think about Michael Vick?
That boy good.

What about the Cam Newton situation at the University of Auburn?
I know somebody is getting paid, and it might not be Newton.

What is Randy Moss’ problem these days?
No problem. He plays when he wants to play, and told everybody that a long time ago. Moss doesn’t want to sacrifice his body anymore, but wants to keep collecting checks. It’ll be interesting to see what he does for the rest of this season and off-season. Whoever has him should be instructed to ask Los Angeles Lakers Head Coach Phil Jackson his secret to handling Dennis Rodman and Ron Artest.

Will the Miami Heat experiment work out?
Historically, trying to buy a championship doesn’t seem to work too well. It’s hard to imagine them not getting it together at some point in time. But they seem confused and in need of leadership. In other words, Pat Riley is on the way.

DeWayne Wade?
Needs to focus more on ballin’ and less on his selection of Erkle/nerd glasses.

LeBron James?
We had it out at the barbershop a couple of weeks ago talking about James. Everybody else seemed to be on James’ side except me. My major point was that James is not a great leader, and it was reflected in his decision to go to Miami. And then gloriously a few days after our quintessential, loud, barbershop banter, James said it: “For myself 44 minutes is too much.”

Or as Hoppin’ Bob in the movie “Life” might say, “He say he tired boss.”

After James saying that, I need to find a microphone, go back to the barbershop, drop the mic in the middle of the floor, and walk out pumping my fist in the air like Spike Lee’s character Radio Raheem.


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