The book Isaiah talks a day when seven women will look for one man to give them his name. They will be willing to marry the same man and share him with six others. This will never work because marriage is a union between two people that results in something greater. Marriage requires, an exclusive, committed relationship that result in two people becoming one emotionally and spiritually.
Marriage is about commitment. One man cannot have an exclusive relationship with seven women. Furthermore, if he tries to do so, all seven relationships will suffer. The exclusive, solid relationship a husband has with his wife serves as physical, emotional, and spiritual support. Both the man and the woman most both agree to be in an exclusive relationship. This must be decided up front. When men fail at any level of relationships, all the other levels suffer along with it. Even relationships that simply involve friendship require some level of commitment.
Men and women view commitment differently. I believe this can be traced back to the first relationship recorded in the bible between Adam and Eve. When Adam was created, he was alone, but when Eve was created, Adam was her companion. Even today, relationships are face with the challenge of creating the balance of space for the man and companionship for the woman. For some men it is easier to be alone than to deal with the pressures that come with commitment. This may, in turn, lead the man to avoiding all relationships, particularly that of marriage, while the woman will seek out relationships just for the sake of not being alone. Both of these situations will most likely end with negative outcomes.
Marriage requires commitment. Not all men are ready to be husbands. When it comes to relationship as it pertains to marriage, some men get “cold feet.” They view matrimony as “lock down” or the “old ball and chain.” This approach is a negative view of marriage, portraying, as it does, the highest level of commitment as a loss of freedom. This view of relationships may cause men to shy away from dating and any sort of friendship that could lead to commitment, resulting in their seeking to distance themselves from the women in their lives. This “space” or lack of commitment can, over time, lead to neglect.
To avoid this confusion, the man must be the keeper of the relationship. He must choose to commit. But before making this choice, he should paint the picture he has in his mind and heart concerning relationships. The clearer the man paints the picture, the healthier the relationship.
And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband” (Ephesians 5:33 MSG). There are no words more powerful than that of a husband. A real husband will praise his wife because of the love he has for her in his heart. She can trust him because she is safe with him. She knows that his words are not motivated by an attempt to take advantage of her, either sexually or emotionally because they are already committed to each other.
Timothy Houston is an author, minister, and motivational speaker who is committed to guiding positive life changes in families and communities. For questions, comments or more information, go to www.tlhouston.com