There is no doubt that social media has change the way we relate to each other. In many instances, it has positively impacted our lives. We have more friends now than ever, and most of us have reconnected with love ones from our past. I have also witnessed the negative side of this new phenomenal. Some without regard have posted any and all information. The misuse of this medium has ended relationships, friendship, and careers.
There is a right and wrong way to use social media. I am so proud of my daughter for choosing the right way. She has started a question and answer facebook relationship column titled “Ask Nicole.” The mechanics of this process is simple. People inbox her questions in private, and she responds to the anonymous questions publicly for all to see. I am amazed by her creativity as well as the wisdom in which she answers the questions. Here are a couple questions and answers that I would like to share.
Q: I was in a relationship with someone and they told me that they love me, but don't trust me. Is that possible?
A: Yes, love doesn't equate to trust. SHOULD this be possible, is really the question. There are certain components that are necessary to have a success relationship and trust is number one. For women, love is second. A woman can learn to love a man that she respects, but she can't learn to trust him, that has to be earned. Trust is black and white, you can't "kind of" trust someone, either you do or you don't. Unfortunately, trust can be altered by experiences, perception, influences, and environment; so it may not be you directly. Example-You may live in an area highly populated with women with your mate and her recently divorced sister. The affects of the environment, influences, and perception could cause a very big trust issue, whether you have done something to cause it or not. In the future, pay attention to those early signs of distrust (checking your phone, constantly asking who you're hanging out with) and address them immediately to prevent irreparable damage later on. Good luck!
Q: My ex sent me a friend request and I accepted. He likes and comments on a lot of my photos. He has a girlfriend, but I know he's going through my albums and such. Am I reading too much into this or is this normal?
A: I don't think you are reading too much into this, there is reason to be cautious. Allowing an ex back into your personal life can be a little risky, it really depends on what type of relationship you maintained post break-up. If you are on good terms, then I think it is fine as long as you set BOUNDARIES. This is a must. Facebook is an outlet for a lot of people and you do not want him to be too involved to where he feels like you HAVE to consider his feelings in every post and status update. You are no longer together and you should never let that fact slip your mind. Additionally, he is with someone else. So if you sense it may be an issue, it's better to delete now then to deal with unnecessary drama later. At the end of the day, you are exes for a reason, and you do not owe him the benefit of keeping tabs on what’s going on in your life, and vice versa. But if you both feel like you can be adults about the situation, then I think facebook friends will work out. Just know when to hit delete :) Good luck!
Social media can have a positive or negative impact on relationships. As we learn to use this new phenomenal, I offer the following advice, watch what you say, and keep your personal life personal. With 55% of communication being non verbal, it is almost a given that social comments will be misinterpreted. With that said, positive comments are always welcome. Thanks to Nicole for sharing her gift with us all.