Insight News

Feb 13th

Man vs. Woman, ending the war of the emotions

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emotionsMen and women battle emotionally. Although they were created for each other, why do they so often war with one another? Where do these emotional battles begin? All emotional battles begin from within and the internal conflicts create external disagreement. Because of this, understanding the inner workings of man and woman helps to make sense of the outer struggle and end the war of the emotions.

Understanding the creative purpose for man helps us to understand him better. Man came from the earth and was an empty shell before God breathed life into him. Because of this, man has within him the ability to suppress his emotions which makes it possible for him to deal dispassionately with the consequences of his actions. This emptiness is a part of his emotional makeup, and it gives him the capacity to wage war and still return home to love his wife and family.  A man has emotions, but he generally expresses them through his actions.

Unlike man, woman is an emotional being full of emotions. She was created with the ability to bring forth life within her. Able as she is to sense the subtle changes of a child growing in her womb, she has physical and emotional connections to the child that supersede that of a man. Because this is a part of her physical design, it allows her to nurture and care for her children and others. It is her nature to express her love and care through her emotions.   

The way a man and a woman express their emotions is different and visible to all. When I look at relationships today, a man’s emotional capacity appears limited while a woman’s appears limitless. Relatively speaking, if a man has five emotional strings, then a woman appears to have five thousand, an imbalance that makes conflict inevitable.  Many battles begin because man is uncomfortable with his emotions so he avoids confrontations that might involve them.  The battle usually ends terribly when the man ends the situation in such a way that he is no longer called on to feel. The woman is then left alone to deal with her emotions.

There is pressing need to end this war of the emotions. Struggles involving emotional battles damage relationships. When some men find themselves losing the battle emotionally, they may try to make it a battle of words which can be harsh and damaging. And if he continues to lose, he may shutdown completely which, in turn, causes him more internal conflict. Because man is an empty shell emotionally, he is able to put his silent treatment behavior into that temporary storage place leaving the woman alone again to deal with her feelings.

Relationships are visibly damaged by these types of emotional battles and the fallout of the emotional warfare is frequently devastating, leaving men emotionally numb and women emotionally scarred, creating a void in communication and destroying intimacy. The hidden danger is that they may also result in a desire in both men and women to seek love and peace in all the wrong places, with the unfortunate result that they often go on to wound others in the same ways they have been hurt. This often becomes a pattern of behavior through out our community, with the same basic outcomes.

However, the loss of a single battle does mean the war is lost. Wars are ended with treaties. When a man and woman come together at the negotiation table, the lines are communications are opened, and the ability to resolve the issue becomes possible. There is no force more powerful in this world than a man and woman working together. Their union creases families and the whole world pauses to take notice. They then are no longer two but one spiritually and emotionally. This oneness makes for better relationships, neighborhoods, and communities. When this union takes place, the war of the emotions is ended, and we are all better because of it.

Timothy Houston is an author, minister, and motivational speaker who is committed to guiding positive life changes in families and communities.  For questions, comments or more information, go to


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