Since last week’s article “Is he husband material” was published, I have received several requests asking that I follow up this week with an article on “Is she wife material?”
My mind immediately took me to the nursery rhyme quote, “sugar and spice and everything nice.” Although wives should be nice and sweet, they require real substance. For me personally, good wife material is made up of good company, meaningful communication, spiritual connection with God, mutual attraction, and common goals and interest. Because this is my personal list, it is most likely too narrow of a view of what is wife material to adequately address the needs of the diverse readers. After much research, here are my 6 key characteristic that make up wife material.
She must be supportive. Contrary to popular belief, the way to a man’s heart is not through is stomach, but through his ego. For within it lie his dreams, ambitions, and most importantly, his manhood. To challenge it would be disastrous. All men need support regardless of their profession. A pastor needs a prayer warrior, a rapper needs a road warrior, a businessman needs a jetsetter, and an athlete needs an ego booster. They all need support that is comparable to them. Besides every successful man is a successful woman helping him to fulfill his dreams.
She must be virtuous. This is more than just moral excellence. It is the character that a woman posses that will allow him to see her as the mother of his children and someone he can take home to meet his mother. Virtue is a woman’s jewel. Men collect toys and treasures. Toys are soon discarded, but treasures are kept for life. Virtue is a treasure that all women who are “keepers” possess.
She must be wise. “A wise woman builds her house” (Proverbs 14:1). The wise woman is the one who uses her skills, knowledge and abilities to harmonize with that of the man. She adds value to him. The family as a whole is better because she makes them better. Her presence is always welcomed, and her absence is noticed.
She must be submissive. This does not mean that she sits at her husband feet and does whatever he says. It means she must be under the authority of her husband. The Biblical example of the family nucleus, the husband is the head, responsible to God for the family and the wife is by his side helping him fulfill his responsibility. A woman that is wife material must be willing and able to support her husband with this responsibility.
She must be a force under control. There is no doubt that the woman is a power force that cannot be denied. You see this in nature in the lioness and the she-bear. They are both feminine and powerful, and they use their force to defend their off-spring. But what you do not see in nature is them using their power against their mate. It must be the same for women who are good wife material. Her power must always be directed away from her husband and family. When it comes to the man in her life, she must have his back, front, and both sides.
She must be able to love in the present tense. Her wounded past cannot be projected into her present or she will by default create a wounded future. Her affection is critical to the success of the man. Her love in the present tense provides him daily conformation to his manhood. A loving wife can turns in ordinary man into superman.
Finally, a wife is a help that is suitable for her husband. She is interdependent, providing the man that loving support that he needs, while receiving the love and protection that he provides. Her words are her most powerful tools so she must use them to build her house. She is strong, durable, and forgiving. A wife is the hand that rocks the cradle, and the sugar and the spice that makes everything nice.
Timothy Houston is an author, minister, and motivational speaker who is committed to guiding positive life changes in families and communities. For questions, comments or more information, go to www.tlhouston.com.