In my travels, I often encounter women who say they are looking for men who are good husband material. After those conversations, I often find my self asking the question, “What is good husband material?” During my 13 years in the Marines we were looking for men with the metal to become Marines. This “metal” is not the right substance. Although metal may make for good Marines, the material that goes into making a good husband must be more pliable. It must be able to transcend beyond the physical appearance of a man and be strong enough to build upon, and flexible enough to bend with the right pressure. Good husband material must be character based. Here is my list of the 5 essential items that make up “good husband” material.
1. He must be responsible. This is the first step to determining if he is good husband material. Five of the most important words a woman can say to a man are “Do you have a job?” This will help her determine whether or not he is experienced in shouldering responsibility. When a man does not work, there is no consistent measure. If he is not responsible for himself, how will he be responsible for others? A man’s ability to take care of himself is a vital part of who he is. He will never take any relationship seriously until he takes himself seriously. Responsible is a key ingredient in husband material.
2. He must be accountable. Accountability is the second ingredient in husband material, and it begins with a man keeping his word. The way a man takes responsibility for his actions, pays his bills, gets to work on time, or attends church service all give insight to how accountable he will be towards his relationship. If a man is going to be a successful husband in this world today, he must be willing and able to be accountable for his words and actions.
3. He must have a positive attitude about marriage. Man’s attitude towards marriage is the third ingredient in becoming husband material. If he views marriage as a “ball and chain,” he will also view his wife as a liability. This failure to see the value of a wife will untimely limit his creativity and vision. On the contrary, the man that sees marriage as an asset will use words and actions that show he values the relationship. This will allow him to find that which is good and obtain favor from God. “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22).
4. He must want to be married. One of the main ingredients in becoming husband material is the desire to be married. It would be a mistake to believe that just because a man has a positive attitude about marriage that he wants to get married. The desire to be married is not automatic. Relationships evolve from friendship, to dating, to an engagement, to marriage. Each man varies in the time it takes to matriculate through the stages. If a man really and truly wants to be married, he will be the one to ask.
5. He must be willing to share his life. This is the most important ingredient in husband material. No one can become a part of a man’s life without him sharing it. His heart, emotions, time, and space must be willingly shared. He must be willing to make room in his life. The willingness to share his life is the point where “I” becomes “we” and “his” becomes “ours.”
Although these are not the only ingredients in husband material, I do believe they are some of the most important. From that moment that these ingredients come together, dreams, goals, and ambitions will become one and will reflect what is good for the family unit. The individual man will cease to exist and a husband will be born. This will create a bond that will never be broken because this oneness will be forged together by the strongest of all material, love.
Timothy Houston is an author, minister, and motivational speaker who is committed to guiding positive life changes in families and communities. For questions, comments or more information, go to www.tlhouston.com.