Insight News

Feb 09th

The love series: All the single ladies (and men)-Valentine's Day is for you too

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single_valentines“She made me feel that there was something wrong with me because I am not married!” my girlfriend confessed to me about her well-intentioned cousin who was trying to set her up with a man with whom there was no love connection. Although I imagine the heart of this concerned relative was in the right place, I must stop and ask you, the reader, a question “What’s wrong with being single??” Here is the answer “Absolutely Nothing!” So here’s my next question, “Then why do we sometimes make our single friends and family feel otherwise?

Some are perfectly content remaining single, and if they are we shouldn’t bother them. Others, who are still anticipating the arrival of that special someone, should be encouraged to live life to the fullest in the meantime. During this 2010 Valentine’s season I am encouraging all the single ladies (and men) to celebrate a love that begins with you loving yourself (which is not to be confused with being self-centered or self-absorbed.) Peek at these helpful Do’s and Don’ts as you celebrate the joys of being Single, Sassy, and Satisfied during V-Day!

Do start with a good self-image. With a healthy view of yourself, you are more likely to attract a healthy mate. Consider taking inventory of your strengths and weaknesses. We all can benefit from doing this at least once yearly. The idea is to write down specific things that make you unique, special, and worthy of love and respect. Allow yourself to feel good about these qualities. Answer the question, “My best character trait is my…” and “I am still working to improve in the area of…” Also acknowledge that while you are imperfect, you are still a treasure. Spend time with others who see you and themselves in that way. As a matter of fact, make a date with a few like-minded, single friends and toast to self-love!

Do celebrate your style, flair and sass. We each make our unique mark on this earth and our variety makes it so interesting. Do you like to express yourself through dance or music? Do your interests include reading, cooking, or art? As a V-day gift, treat yourself to a book at Barnes & Nobles (or borrow one of your favorite authors from the library), buy yourself a new paint brush for an upcoming art project, or try out a new recipe and invite your friend or a family member over to eat it with you. After all, you deserve it!

Don’t wait until Mr. or Mrs. Right shows up before you start living your dreams-enjoy the journey that leads to that special someone person. If you have always dreamt of going to Paris, save up and go (just pay cash for the trip). You never know, while you are busy having fun, you just may bump into your one true love!

Do resist the urge to call your “former Boo” in hopes that he has left his trifling ways behind. You will only be disappointed. Remember, if he liked it (enough) then he would have put a ring on it! Instead, call a friend and make a movie date, or even catch one at your local discount movie theater with just you and the popcorn.

As you celebrate the upcoming day of love, proudly embrace your singleness as a gift from God. Find contentment in realizing that you are whole and complete-without a mate-and you are of great value. Rejoice in the benefits that your current status brings; freedom to act on a whim, freedom to spend as you see fit, freedom to keep your home as neat (or as messy) as you please, and freedom to pursue interests and hobbies without having to check in with someone else. Ask yourself “Do I really love me? If you are unsure, do something about it; exclusively date yourself for awhile. Get in touch with who you really are at this moment-and who you’re becoming. You’ll then be best equipped to share your love with another. Enjoy!

Marcia Humphrey is an interior decorator and home stager who specializes in achieving high style at low costs. A native of Michigan, she and her husband, Lonnie, have three children.


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