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Thursday
Apr 24th

Danger of a neglected man

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In relationships, both men and women are subject to neglect. In my book, Men are Dirt, an entire chapter is dedicated to the danger of a neglected woman, and the entire book is dedicated to empowering women. Women who have not read the book should get a copy and read it. They will find it extremely enlightening and beneficial. When it comes to the danger of a neglected man, there has been very little discussion on the topic. Although most men may never say this out loud, neglect hurts. In order for relationships to remain healthy, both the man and the women must be equally appreciated.

Contrary to popular belief, men are neglected, and they are negatively impacted by it. The dictionary defines neglect as to give little attention or respect to, or to disregard. It also means to take someone for granted. This type of neglect begins when the woman forms in her mind the notion that "it is his job" or "that is what a man is supposed to do." This type of mindset gives little or no credit or appreciation to what the man is currently doing. To her, he is merely playing out the script that she has for him in her mind. She is convinced that the man should not receive or expect to receive any praise for doing what it is his job to do. The truth is that anytime a man shares his hand or his heart; he should be valued and appreciated for it.

Some neglect of men is intentional. The likelihood of a woman saying "thank you" to a man that holds the door open for her, or responding to a simple "good morning" is becoming a thing of the past. The modern day woman has been programmed to dislike men. With statements like "there are no good men out there," or "all men are dogs," it is inevitable that this frame of mind will result in mistreatment. Women that believe that all men are dogs, as some point, will start treating all men like dogs. The good men will be lumped in with the bad. The truth is that not all men are dogs. There are good men out there who should be valued and appreciated.

Although some neglect of men may not be intentional, it is still harmful. This unintentional neglect of men may be due to a shift in our culture. Even though women have long since dispelled the notion that the woman's place is in the home, barefoot and pregnant, waiting for the man to bring home the bacon so she can fry it. Many people still hold on to the idea that the man's place is in the workplace, working to bring home the bacon. The modern day man is caught up in this shift. Without the hot meals, warm baths, and the verbal affirmations of the past, the man as a provider has become a thankless job. Women, please find some positive ways to affirm the men in your life. The danger of a neglect man, whether intentional or unintentional, is that he may seek out someone else to appreciate and value him.

We must correct this situation. When either the man or the women in the relationship is neglected, the relationship as a whole suffers. Men and women, who are wounded, will wound others. As a result, men and women are seeking love, affection, and affirmation in all the wrong places. This is the true danger of a neglected man. Someone else may become the recipient of his neglect. Women, you can help turn this tide. If a man says hello to you, say hello back, and if he holds the door open for you, say thank you. Finally, if you have a man that brings home the bacon, fry it up for him with some grits and eggs, serve it with some love and kindness, and let him know that he is appreciated.

Timothy Houston is an author, minister, and motivational speaker who is committed to guiding positive life changes in families and communities. For copies of his book, questions, comments or more information, go to www.tlhouston.com.
 

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