At the beginning of this year, I wrote an article, “Is he husband material?” It listed five essential ingredients as seen from a man’s perspective. My ingredients for husband material were responsibility, accountability, positive attitude about marriage, desire to be married, and a willingness to share his life.  This week, I asked my daughter, Nicole, to share her top five items from a woman’s perspective.  These items will supplement my previous list and provide balance to the all important relationship discussion.  Here are Nicole’s five items that make up good husband material.

Men don’t cry. I remember the first time I heard those words. I was about 12-years-old and my hand had just been accidentally caught in the car door. I was now experiencing excruciating pain! As the tears begin to form in my eyes, I heard my older brother say, “You better not cry; Men don’t cry!” I looked up to him because even at 15, he never cried about anything. In my mind, I wanted to be a man about this too, so I dried the tears from my eyes and repeated the words “Men don’t cry.”  From that day forward I was a member of club “men” and I stopped crying about things, at least on the outside.

This week I attended a motorcycle safety course. This was my last step before purchasing a motorcycle. Because my first attempt of owning and riding a motorcycle is taking place after turning 50, the question of a mid-life crisis has come up over and over. Despite my pleas that this desire comes more from the fact that I am at a time and place emotionally and financially to purchase one, friends and family alike believe this is caused by my mid-life crisis. Rather than continue to dispel the notion, I decided to research it and see if I could gain some insight.

What is a mid-life crisis? When does it begin? A midlife crisis might occur anywhere from about age 37 through the 50. By whatever term, the crisis or transition tends to occur around significant life events, such as your youngest child finishing college, or a "zero" birthday announcing to the world that you're entering a new decade. The mid life transition is far more than a handful of physical changes. It often brings a re-ordering of priorities, a change in values, deep soul-searching about the meaning of life, the facing of your own mortality, and a loss of social power.

There is no doubt that social media has change the way we relate to each other. In many instances, it has positively impacted our lives. We have more friends now than ever, and most of us have reconnected with love ones from our past. I have also witnessed the negative side of this new phenomenal.  Some without regard have posted any and all information. The misuse of this medium has ended relationships, friendship, and careers.

There is a right and wrong way to use social media. I am so proud of my daughter for choosing the right way. She has started a question and answer facebook relationship column titled “Ask Nicole.” The mechanics of this process is simple. People inbox her questions in private, and she responds to the anonymous questions publicly for all to see. I am amazed by her creativity as well as the wisdom in which she answers the questions. Here are a couple questions and answers that I would like to share.